Uncontested Divorce Mediation in California

Uncontested divorce mediation is a process in which a neutral mediator helps you and your spouse talk through every issue in your California divorce (property, support, and custody if you have children) so you can reach an agreement you both accept, instead of asking a judge to decide those issues for you.

Most people searching for uncontested divorce mediation have already made the hardest decision. The marriage is ending, and you and your spouse have likely agreed, out loud or quietly, that you would rather sort out the house, the accounts, and the children's schedule between yourselves than hand those choices to a courtroom. What remains uncertain is everything practical. You may not know what the law requires of you, which parts are truly settled and which only feel settled, and whether mediation can hold all of it. You may be one spouse reading this on behalf of both, trying to find something even-handed enough to send to the other. This page is written for both of you, whether you live in San Diego, in Carlsbad, Encinitas or Oceanside, or anywhere else in California where online mediation reaches.

Simple Divorce Mediation mediates California divorces for couples in San Diego County and, online, for couples throughout the state. The sections below follow the path a mediated divorce usually takes. They begin with what mediation is, then cover the legal requirements, the disclosures, and the issues themselves. They end with what happens after an agreement or a partial agreement is reached.

What Uncontested Divorce Mediation Is — and What It Is Not

California law defines mediation in Evidence Code section 1115 as "a process in which a neutral person or persons facilitate communication between the disputants to assist them in reaching a mutually acceptable agreement." The mediator is that neutral person. In plain terms, the mediator helps you and your spouse hear each other, put the issues in order, and test possible solutions until you find terms you both accept.

The mediator does not represent either of you, advocate for either of you, or act as either spouse's lawyer. The mediator also does not decide anything. Every term in a mediated agreement is one you and your spouse chose. That is the core difference from litigation, where a judge decides the issues the spouses cannot settle. For a fuller walkthrough of the method, see the overview of divorce mediation in California.

An uncontested divorce is one in which both spouses are prepared to resolve every issue without a judge deciding it for them. Those issues include dividing property and debts, spousal support, and, if you have children, custody, visitation and child support. Many couples begin mediation only "mostly" uncontested. Mediation is often where the remaining gaps get closed. Sometimes it ends with a partial agreement that resolves some issues and leaves others for a next step.

Either spouse may have a lawyer of their own during mediation. Some couples mediate without separate counsel, and some have one or both spouses consult a lawyer along the way. The law neither requires it nor forbids it. Some mediators are also attorneys, and the attorney-mediator role still carries the same duty of neutrality. An attorney-mediator does not become either spouse's lawyer.

Private divorce mediation is also separate from the custody mediation run by the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego, through its Family Court Services. The two processes have different purposes and different rules. Simple Divorce Mediation is a private practice and has no connection to the court, Family Court Services, or any government program. The custody section below explains the court process.

Mediation may not be right for every couple. If there has been domestic violence, coercion, or a protective order between you, safety comes first, and this page does not encourage you to mediate with your spouse. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

California's Legal Requirements for Divorce

Residency comes first. Under Family Code section 2320(a), except as subdivision (b) provides for some same-sex marriages entered in California, a judgment of dissolution may not be entered unless at least one spouse has been a resident of California for six months and of the county where the case is filed for three months immediately before the petition is filed. The California Courts self-help site at selfhelp.courts.ca.gov explains this requirement. Where your case is filed, and which rules apply, depend on your circumstances, including where each of you lives. For couples who file in San Diego County, family law cases are heard by the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego. Couples mediating online from other parts of California file in the county that fits their own situation.

California also has a waiting period. Under Family Code section 2339, a divorce judgment cannot become final to end the marriage until six months have passed from the date the summons and petition are served or the date the respondent appears in the case, whichever occurs first. The court may extend that period for good cause. The clock does not start when the petition is filed. Mediation can happen before, during or after this period. Reaching an agreement does not shorten it.

Some couples qualify for summary dissolution, a simplified procedure for short marriages with limited property. Family Code section 2400 sets the conditions, including these:

• There are no children of the relationship and neither spouse is pregnant.
• The marriage lasted no more than five years as of the date of separation.
• Neither spouse has an interest in real property, with a narrow exception for a leased residence.

The dollar limits on property and debts are set by statute and adjusted periodically under Family Code section 2400(b), so any figure you see quoted may already be out of date. Couples who do not qualify use the standard dissolution process, and mediation can work alongside either one. For how these steps play out locally, see the guide to divorce mediation in San Diego.

Financial Disclosure: What Mediation Cannot Replace

Mediation does not let you and your spouse skip, shorten or informally replace California's declarations of disclosure. These are sworn financial statements each spouse serves on the other, listing assets, debts, income and expenses, signed under penalty of perjury. They exist so that any agreement rests on full information. Mediation works alongside disclosure, not instead of it.

Preliminary declaration of disclosure. Under Family Code section 2104(f), the petitioner serves it with the petition or within 60 days of filing the petition. The respondent serves it with the response or within 60 days of filing the response. The spouses can extend those time periods by written agreement, or the court can extend them by order. Section 2104 also requires the preliminary declaration to include all tax returns the declarant filed in the two years before serving it.

Final declaration of disclosure and current income and expense declaration. Under Family Code section 2105(a), each spouse serves these before or at the time the spouses enter into an agreement resolving property or support issues, other than temporary support. If the case goes to trial, they are due no later than 45 days before the first assigned trial date. A court may order otherwise for good cause.

Mutual waiver. You and your spouse may waive the final declaration together, but one spouse cannot waive it alone. Under Family Code section 2105(d), the mutual waiver must be executed under penalty of perjury in open court or by separate stipulation. It must state two things. First, both spouses have complied with section 2104 and have completed and exchanged their preliminary declarations. Second, both spouses have completed and exchanged a current income and expense declaration that includes all material facts about their earnings, accumulations and expenses.

Perjury on either declaration may be grounds for setting aside the judgment, in whole or in part. Disclosure can feel like paperwork standing between you and the agreement you have mostly reached. It is also what gives that agreement a foundation both of you can rely on later.

Property, Support, and What Mediation Can Help Resolve

Family Code section 2550 sets the baseline: in a divorce, the court divides the community estate equally unless the spouses agree otherwise in writing or by oral stipulation in open court, or as the Family Code otherwise provides. The community estate is the property and debts acquired during the marriage, other than separate property. In mediation, you and your spouse can agree on how to divide that estate. You can also choose to divide it in a way other than strictly equal, provided you document the agreement as the law requires.

Valuation follows its own rule. Under Family Code section 2552, the court values community assets and liabilities as near as practicable to the time of trial. On 30 days' notice and for good cause, the court may value all or part of them at a date after separation and before trial. Couples in mediation often discuss which values to use. The legal default is not the date of separation.

Separate-property reimbursement. Family Code section 2640 addresses one spouse's separate money put into community property. Examples include a down payment from an inheritance, or payments that reduce the principal of the loan. That spouse is reimbursed to the extent the contribution is traced to a separate source, unless the spouse made a written waiver of the right or signed a writing with that effect. The reimbursement is without interest, and it cannot exceed the property's net value at division. Payments for interest, maintenance, insurance or taxes do not count as contributions.

Moore/Marsden apportionment is the opposite situation: community money paying down the loan on a home that is one spouse's separate property. That calculation gives the community a share of the home's value. It is not section 2640 reimbursement, and the two should not be confused.

Businesses. A business's value can include goodwill, and that value is decided on the evidence, often with the help of experts. Mediation gives you and your spouse room to discuss how to handle that evidence, and to agree on who keeps the business and what offsets the other spouse receives.

Spousal support. In ordering spousal support, the court considers the circumstances Family Code section 4320 lists, including whether each spouse's earning capacity is sufficient to maintain the marital standard of living. Mediation lets you and your spouse work through those same considerations and reach your own terms.

Child support. Under Family Code section 4065(a), parents may agree on a child support amount, but the agreement is subject to the court's approval. The court will not approve an amount below the statewide guideline formula unless the parents declare all of the following:

• They are fully informed of their rights concerning child support.
• The order is being agreed to without coercion or duress.
• The agreement is in the best interests of the children.
• The children's needs will be adequately met by the agreed amount.
• The right to support has not been assigned to the county and no public assistance application is pending.

On each of these issues, the mediator helps you and your spouse communicate and test options. The decisions are yours, and some of them still go to the court for approval.

Custody and Parenting Arrangements in Mediation

Parents can build a parenting plan in private mediation. A parenting plan is the schedule and decision-making arrangement for your children after the divorce. When parents agree, they can submit the agreement to the court, and it is subject to the court's approval.

A separate rule applies when parents do not agree. Under Family Code section 3170(a), if a petition or other pleading shows that custody, visitation or both are contested, the court must set those contested issues for mediation. This court mediation is not the same as private divorce mediation, and it is not optional once the issues are contested.

In San Diego County, that court process is child custody recommending counseling, conducted by the court's Family Court Services. Under Family Code section 3183(a), except as section 3188 provides, the court's mediator may, consistent with local court rules, submit a recommendation to the court on custody or visitation. The mediator must first give that recommendation in writing to the parties and their attorneys before the hearing. A mediator who does this is called a child custody recommending counselor, and Family Court Services calls this person the Family Court Counselor. Family Court Services states that if no agreement is reached, the counselor makes a recommendation and the court hearing proceeds. The judge makes the decision.

Under Family Code section 3170(b), domestic violence cases are handled by Family Court Services under a separate written protocol approved by the Judicial Council.

Simple Divorce Mediation is not part of that process and has no connection to Family Court Services. Private mediation happens outside the court, on terms you and your spouse set. For parents in San Diego, Carlsbad, Oceanside or elsewhere, the choice of where to work out a parenting plan is often the first decision you make together. The two paths work very differently.

Confidentiality in Mediation

Evidence Code section 1119 makes mediation communications confidential, except as the Evidence Code's mediation chapter otherwise provides. Generally, what is said in mediation, and writings prepared for it, cannot be admitted as evidence or obtained through discovery in a later civil proceeding. Communications and settlement discussions between participants remain confidential. That protection is broad, but it is not absolute.

The signed agreement is the most important limit. Under Evidence Code section 1123, a written settlement agreement prepared in mediation and signed by the settling spouses can be admitted or disclosed in any of these situations:

• The agreement says it is admissible or subject to disclosure, or words to that effect.
• The agreement says it is enforceable or binding, or words to that effect.
• All parties expressly agree to its disclosure, in writing or orally as the Evidence Code allows.
• The agreement is used to show fraud, duress or illegality relevant to an issue in dispute.

A divorce agreement is usually meant to be enforceable. For that reason, a final agreement often does not stay private.

Evidence Code section 1115(c) defines a mediation consultation as a communication between a person and a mediator for the purpose of starting, considering or resuming a mediation, or retaining the mediator. The scope of any protection depends on the Evidence Code's terms and the facts. A general inquiry to a practice is not automatically protected.

How Simple Divorce Mediation Works with California Couples

Simple Divorce Mediation mediates California divorces for couples in San Diego County, including Carlsbad, Encinitas and Oceanside. Through online mediation, it also serves couples anywhere in California. Online mediation lets spouses in different parts of the state work through the same process without the practice claiming offices where it has none.

The work follows the chain this page has traced. It starts with your situation and the issues still open. It moves through custody, support and property questions, and through the disclosures the Family Code requires. It ends with a full agreement, a partial agreement, or a clear picture of what comes next. "Simple" refers to making divorce simpler through mediation. Depending on you, your spouse and the issues, mediation may take less time or cost less than litigating. That is not a promise, and no result is predicted.

Mediation has firm limits, and they are worth naming:

• The mediator cannot decide any issue for you.
• The mediator cannot give either spouse one-sided advice.
• Mediation cannot replace the declarations of disclosure.
• Mediation cannot make a child support agreement binding without the court's approval.
• Mediation cannot shorten the six-month waiting period.

When Mediation May Not Be the Right Path

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Where there has been domestic violence, coercion or a protective order between you and your spouse, safety comes first. This page does not encourage anyone in that situation to mediate with the other spouse. Mediation depends on both people being able to speak freely and agree voluntarily. Fear or pressure undermines both.

Mediation also requires genuine participation from both spouses. If one spouse will not take part in good faith, or will not provide complete financial information, mediation cannot produce the mutually acceptable agreement section 1115 describes. Couples in this position sometimes still reach partial agreements on a few issues and leave the rest for another path.

None of this means mediation fails often. It means mediation may not be right for every couple. A spouse who reaches this section unsure about safety or good faith is asking exactly the right question.

Talking Through Mediation for Your Divorce

An uncontested divorce often depends on details that are easy to underestimate. These include whether both preliminary disclosures have been served, how a separate-property contribution to the house is treated, and whether a child support figure meets the guideline or the section 4065(a) declarations. A conversation about mediation is a place to sort out which of your issues are already agreed, which are still open, and how mediation and California's requirements fit together for you and your spouse, whether you are in San Diego County or elsewhere in California.

When you and your spouse are ready, you are welcome to call Simple Divorce Mediation at 858-330-1378 to arrange a joint mediation consultation.

About this firm and this page. Reviewed by Amy J. Lass, CA Bar No. 246779. Last updated 2026-10-04.