Online Divorce Mediation in California

Yes, couples anywhere in California can mediate their divorce online. A neutral mediator helps you and your spouse talk through property, support and parenting so you can reach an agreement you both accept. The mediator does not decide anything or represent either of you, and California's financial disclosure rules apply just as they would in court.

Most people searching for online divorce mediation in California have already made one hard decision: the marriage is ending. What is still open is how. You and your spouse may live in different parts of the state now, or under the same roof with a calendar full of work and school pickups. One of you may be reading this on behalf of both, trying to work out whether a mediated divorce is realistic for the two of you, what California law will still require, and what happens if you agree on most things but not everything.

Simple Divorce Mediation mediates California divorces for couples in San Diego County and, online, for couples anywhere in California. This page explains what that mediation is, how it fits around the Family Code's requirements, where its confidentiality stops, and how it differs from the custody mediation the court itself runs.

What Online Divorce Mediation Is — and What It Is Not

Under Evidence Code section 1115, mediation is a process in which a neutral person helps the people in a dispute communicate so they can reach an agreement they both accept. That neutral person is the mediator. The definition carries the whole idea: the mediator helps you and your spouse talk, keeps the discussion organized and makes sure each issue is actually addressed, but the agreement, if there is one, belongs to the two of you.

A mediator does not represent either spouse, does not advocate for one side, and does not act as either spouse's lawyer. A mediator also does not decide anything. If you and your spouse do not agree on an issue, nothing is imposed on you in mediation; the issue simply stays open.

Either spouse may have a lawyer of their own. Neither spouse is required to hire one, and neither is barred from doing so. Some couples mediate with each spouse consulting a separate attorney along the way; others do not. That choice is yours.

Online mediation works within the same legal framework as mediation held in a room. The Evidence Code's definitions and confidentiality rules, and the Family Code's disclosure and waiting-period rules, do not change because the conversation happens online. That is what makes it possible for couples anywhere in California, and not only in San Diego County, to mediate with the practice. For a broader look at the method itself, see the overview of divorce mediation in San Diego County.

Private mediation is not the court's custody mediation

There is a second kind of family mediation in California, and it is easy to confuse with the first. Family Code section 3160 requires each superior court to make a mediator available. Under Family Code section 3170, when a petition or other request for a custody or visitation order shows that custody, visitation or both are contested, the court must set those contested issues for mediation. That court mediation is not voluntary in the way private mediation is.

In San Diego County, that court process is child custody recommending counseling with the court's Family Court Services. Under Family Code section 3183(a), except as section 3188 provides, the court's mediator may, consistent with local court rules, submit a recommendation to the court about custody or visitation, as long as the parties and their attorneys first receive it in writing before the hearing. A mediator authorized to do that is called a child custody recommending counselor, and Family Court Services calls this person the Family Court Counselor. Family Court Services says that if no agreement is reached, the counselor makes a recommendation and the court hearing proceeds. The judge decides.

The confidentiality rules are different too. Evidence Code section 1117(b) says the Evidence Code's mediation confidentiality chapter does not apply to the court's custody mediation under Family Code section 3160 and the sections that follow it. Those court proceedings are instead held in private and are confidential under Family Code section 3177.

Simple Divorce Mediation is a private practice. It is not part of the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego, not part of Family Court Services, and not connected to any government program. The guide to child custody mediation explains the court process in more detail.

How the Mediation Process Works in California

Mediation begins with a conversation about whether to mediate at all. Evidence Code section 1115(c) defines a mediation consultation as a communication between a person and a mediator for the purpose of starting, considering or restarting a mediation, or retaining the mediator. From there, you and your spouse work with the mediator to name the issues, gather the information each issue needs, and work toward terms you both accept.

The divorce itself still moves through a court case. Mediation does not replace the filing; it shapes the agreement that the case eventually reflects. Where the case is filed, and which local rules apply, depend on your circumstances, such as where each of you lives.

The six-month waiting period

Under Family Code section 2339, a judgment of dissolution cannot end the marriage until six months have passed from the date the summons and petition are served or the date the respondent appears in the case, whichever occurs first. The court may extend that period for good cause. Mediation does not shorten it. Mediation may move the agreement along at a pace that suits you and your spouse, depending on the couple and the issues, but the statutory clock is the same either way.

Financial disclosure still applies

Mediation does not remove the duty of financial disclosure, and it does not let spouses skip, shorten or informally replace the declarations of disclosure. Under Family Code section 2104(f), each spouse serves a preliminary declaration of disclosure: the petitioner either with the petition or within 60 days of filing it, and the respondent either with the response or within 60 days of filing it. When the petitioner served the summons and petition by publication or posting under a court order and the respondent files a response before a default judgment is entered, the petitioner has 30 days from that response. The parties may extend these time periods by written agreement, or the court may extend them by order.

The final disclosure comes later. Under Family Code section 2105(a), except by court order for good cause, each spouse serves a final declaration of disclosure and a current income and expense declaration before or at the time the spouses enter into an agreement resolving property or support issues other than temporary support, or, if the case goes to trial, no later than 45 days before the first assigned trial date. The spouses can waive the final declaration only mutually, never one spouse alone, and under section 2105(d) that mutual waiver must be executed under penalty of perjury in open court or by separate stipulation and must include the representations that subdivision lists.

These disclosures are part of what makes a mediated agreement workable. Both of you are deciding on the same set of facts. The step-by-step guide to a divorce mediation agreement shows where each disclosure falls.

Confidentiality in California Divorce Mediation

Evidence Code section 1119 makes private mediation confidential, except as the Evidence Code's mediation chapter otherwise provides. Under that section, what is said and what is written for or during a mediation or a mediation consultation generally cannot be admitted as evidence or obtained through discovery in a civil case or other noncriminal proceeding where testimony can be compelled, and communications between participants in the mediation stay confidential. Couples often ask about this first, because the conversation in mediation can touch on money, the children and the history of the marriage.

Confidentiality has limits, and the most practical one concerns the agreement itself. Under Evidence Code section 1123, a written settlement agreement prepared in or for a mediation is not shielded by the chapter if the spouses sign it and any one of these is true: the agreement says it is admissible or subject to disclosure, or words to that effect; the agreement says it is enforceable or binding, or words to that effect; all parties expressly agree in writing, or orally as the Evidence Code allows, to its disclosure; or the agreement is used to show fraud, duress or illegality relevant to an issue in dispute. A divorce agreement that is meant to be binding will usually say so, which means it is not a secret document.

When either spouse has a lawyer, there is a further step. Under Evidence Code section 1129, except in the case of a class or representative action, an attorney representing a client in a mediation or mediation consultation must give that client a printed disclosure of the confidentiality restrictions in section 1119, and get a signed acknowledgment, as soon as reasonably possible before the client agrees to participate, or, if the attorney is retained after the client agreed, as soon as reasonably possible after being retained.

None of these Evidence Code rules govern the court's custody mediation. As described above, Evidence Code section 1117(b) takes that court process outside the chapter, and Family Code section 3177 supplies its confidentiality instead.

Property, Support, and What Mediation Can Help Resolve

The financial side of a divorce is often where the hardest conversations sit, even for couples who agree the marriage is over. Mediation can address all of it: property, debts, retirement, support and parenting. The law below is the frame the conversation works within.

Community property and equal division

California is a community property state. Family Code section 2550 directs the court to divide the community estate equally, except where the spouses agree otherwise in writing or by oral stipulation in open court, or as the Family Code otherwise provides. That written-agreement path is the one a mediated divorce uses.

Valuation timing matters. Under Family Code section 2552, the court values assets and debts as near as practicable to the time of trial. On 30 days' notice by the moving party to the other party, the court may for good cause value some or all of them at a date after separation and before trial. In mediation, you and your spouse work with values that fit those rules; property is not valued simply as of the date you separated.

Retirement plans are often the largest asset. Family Code section 2610 directs the court, except as its subdivision (b) provides, to make the orders needed so each spouse receives their full community share of a retirement plan, public or private, including survivor and death benefits.

A family business raises its own questions. A business's value can include goodwill, and its value is decided on the evidence, often with experts.

Separate property and reimbursement

Not everything is community property. Property that is one spouse's separate property is not part of the community estate, but whether a given asset is separate depends on the facts and on tracing where the money came from.

Family Code section 2640(b) covers one specific situation: separate-property money that went into acquiring community property. Unless the spouse has made a written waiver of the right to reimbursement or has signed a writing that has the effect of a waiver, the spouse is reimbursed for those contributions to the extent they can be traced to a separate-property source; the reimbursement is paid without interest or adjustment for changes in the value of money and may not exceed the net value of the property at the time of division. "Contributions" means downpayments, payments for improvements, and payments that reduce the principal of a loan used to buy or improve the property. It does not include interest, maintenance, insurance or taxes. Separate money mixed into a bank account or a retirement plan is a different question, one of tracing commingled funds. The reverse situation, where community money pays down a loan on one spouse's separate-property home, is the Moore/Marsden apportionment, a separate rule. The page on property division mediation works through these issues further.

Some couples qualify for summary dissolution, a simplified procedure. Its asset and debt limits are set by statute and, under Family Code section 2400(b), adjusted periodically for inflation.

Child support and spousal support

Parents may agree on child support in mediation, but under Family Code section 4065(a) the agreement is subject to the court's approval, and the court will not approve an amount below the guideline formula unless the parents declare all of the following: they are fully informed of their rights concerning child support; the order is agreed to without coercion or duress; the agreement is in the best interests of the children; the children's needs will be adequately met by the agreed amount; and the right to support has not been assigned to the county and no public assistance application is pending. The child support mediation page covers this in depth.

Spousal support, parenting schedules and how the children move between two households are also common subjects. Where you and your spouse reach agreement on some issues but not others, a partial agreement is still a real step: the settled issues are written down, and the remaining ones go forward on their own path.

When Mediation May Not Be the Right Path

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Mediation may not be right for every couple. It depends on both spouses being able to speak for themselves, and to say no, without fear. Where there has been domestic violence, coercion or a protective order between you, safety comes first, and nothing on this page is an encouragement to mediate with the other spouse.

The court's own custody process recognizes this. Under Family Code section 3170(b), domestic violence cases in the court's custody mediation are handled by Family Court Services under a separate written protocol approved by the Judicial Council.

It also helps to be clear about what the practice's role is not. Simple Divorce Mediation does not act as either spouse's lawyer, does not argue either spouse's position, and does not make decisions for you and your spouse. It is not a substitute for the court's Family Court Services when the court has set custody issues for mediation, and it does not issue recommendations to a judge. A mediator's job is to help the two of you talk; if either of you wants someone on your side alone, that is a role for a lawyer of your own, which either spouse is free to have.

Online Mediation for Couples Across California

Simple Divorce Mediation mediates California divorces for couples in San Diego County and, online, for couples anywhere in California. For couples in San Diego, Carlsbad, Encinitas, Oceanside and the rest of San Diego County, that means mediation close to the court where many local cases are filed. For couples elsewhere in California, online mediation means the same process is available statewide.

Family law cases in San Diego County are heard by the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego. A couple living in San Diego or Oceanside may file there; a couple in another part of California may file in the superior court of their own county. Where your case is filed, and which local rules apply, depend on your circumstances, including where each of you lives. That is one reason mediating online can make sense when spouses now live in different California counties.

The Family Code's rules travel with you. The six-month waiting period, the preliminary and final declarations of disclosure, equal division of the community estate and court approval of child support apply across California, whether you and your spouse are in Encinitas, Carlsbad or anywhere else in the state.

Starting a Mediation with Simple Divorce Mediation

The first step is a mediation consultation, which Evidence Code section 1115(c) defines as a communication for the purpose of starting, considering or restarting a mediation, or retaining the mediator. Consultations are with the practice. Many couples arrive at that conversation with one spouse more ready than the other, and that is a normal place to begin.

It can help to think through a few questions beforehand: which issues you and your spouse already agree on, which ones feel unsettled, whether a case has been filed and in which California county, and whether either of you has served a preliminary declaration of disclosure. None of these has to be resolved before reaching out. They are simply the facts that shape what mediation would involve for the two of you. For couples with children, the page on divorce mediation with children explains how parenting plans and support fit into the same process.

No one can promise how a mediation will end. What mediation offers is a structured way for you and your spouse to work through the decisions yourselves, within the rules California law sets.

Talk Through Online Divorce Mediation for Your California Divorce

Deciding whether to mediate often turns on details that are specific to you and your spouse: where each of you lives in California, whether a case has been filed, where the disclosures stand, and which issues already feel settled. A consultation is a place to raise those questions about the process, with no pressure to decide anything on any particular timeline.

To talk through whether online divorce mediation fits your situation, call Simple Divorce Mediation at 858-330-1378 for a joint mediation consultation.