How a Divorce Mediation Agreement Works in California: A Step-by-Step Guide

A divorce mediation agreement in California is the written settlement you and your spouse reach with a neutral mediator's help, often called a marital settlement agreement. It records how you resolve property, debts, support and parenting. Once both of you sign it, it goes to the court, which reviews it and can enter it as part of the judgment.

You and your spouse may have already decided that you want to end your marriage without turning it into a courtroom contest, and now the question is what that actually looks like on paper. You may be wondering what the agreement has to cover, what you each have to disclose first, whether anything you say along the way can be used later, and at what point a judge is involved at all. Most people facing this process have never seen a settlement agreement before, and the uncertainty about what comes next can feel heavier than the decisions themselves. This guide walks through the agreement from beginning to end, for couples in San Diego County and for couples anywhere in California who mediate online.

The process below has five steps: identifying the issues, exchanging financial disclosures, working through the issues in mediation, drafting the agreement, and submitting it to the court. The only fixed timeframes in it come from statute, and they are explained where they apply. How long the rest takes depends on the couple and the issues.

Before You Start: What You and Your Spouse Need to Have in Place

Residency comes first. Generally, a judgment of dissolution cannot be entered in California unless one spouse has lived in the state for six months and in the county where the petition is filed for three months right before filing (Family Code section 2320). The statute has a narrow exception for certain same-sex marriages entered in California. Where a case is filed depends on where you and your spouse live; a couple in San Diego County who meets the county requirement would typically file in the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego.

Mediation works alongside the court case, not in place of it. A divorce still begins with a petition and summons filed with the court and served on the other spouse. Mediation is the way you and your spouse work out the terms; the court case is the legal container those terms eventually go into.

Mediation defined. Under Evidence Code section 1115, mediation is a process in which a neutral person, the mediator, helps the people in a dispute communicate so they can reach an agreement they both accept. The mediator does not represent either of you, does not advocate for either of you, and does not decide anything for you. The decisions stay with you and your spouse.

Disclosure is still required. Mediating does not let you skip, shorten or informally replace the financial disclosures California requires. Each spouse serves a preliminary declaration of disclosure with the petition or response, or within 60 days of filing it, unless the spouses extend that time by written agreement or the court extends it by order (Family Code section 2104(f)). When the petitioner served the summons and petition by publication or posting under a court order and the respondent files a response before a default judgment is entered, the petitioner has 30 days from that response.

Lawyers are optional both ways. Either of you may consult or retain your own attorney at any point. Neither of you is required to, and neither of you is prohibited from doing so.

Safety comes first. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Where there has been domestic violence, coercion or a protective order, mediation with the other spouse may not be appropriate, and safety takes priority over any process described here. How the court's custody process handles these cases is covered under "When the Process Gets More Complicated" below.

Step 1: Identify Every Issue Your Agreement Must Resolve

Before anything is negotiated, it helps to see the whole map. A California divorce agreement typically addresses the following topics, and leaving one out can mean returning to it later.

Community property. California is a community property state. Under Family Code section 2550, the court divides the community estate (what the spouses acquired during the marriage) equally, except on the written agreement of the parties, an oral stipulation in open court, or as otherwise provided in that division of the Family Code. Mediation is where you and your spouse work out how that division will look.

Separate property and reimbursement. Separate property generally stays with the spouse who owns it. When one spouse put separate-property money into community property, Family Code section 2640(b) provides for reimbursement of contributions traced to a separate source, unless that spouse made a written waiver of the right or signed a writing with the effect of a waiver; the reimbursement is paid without interest or adjustment for change in monetary values and may not exceed the net value of the property at the time of division. "Contributions" include down payments, improvements and principal paydown, but not interest, maintenance, insurance or taxes (section 2640(a)).

Community money and a separate-property home. The reverse situation, where community funds paid down a loan on one spouse's separate-property home, is handled under a different doctrine known as Moore/Marsden apportionment. It is not the section 2640 rule, and the two are analyzed separately.

Business interests. A business's value can include goodwill, and its value is decided on the evidence, often with experts.

Spousal support. Spousal support (sometimes called alimony) is support one spouse pays the other. Your agreement addresses whether it is paid, by whom, how much and for how long. Family Code section 4320 lists circumstances a court considers when ordering spousal support, including the extent to which each spouse's earning capacity is enough to maintain the marital standard of living and the extent to which the supported spouse contributed to the other's education, training, career or license; the section lists other factors as well.

Custody and parenting. Legal custody is decision-making authority for a child; physical custody is where the child lives. Parents may agree on a parenting plan, subject to court approval.

Child support. Parents may agree on a child support amount, but the agreement is subject to the court's approval. The court does not approve an amount below the guideline formula unless the parents declare all of the following (Family Code section 4065(a)): they are fully informed of their rights concerning child support; the order is agreed to without coercion or duress; the agreement is in the children's best interests; the children's needs will be adequately met by the agreed amount; and the right to support has not been assigned to the county under Welfare and Institutions Code section 11477 and no public assistance application is pending.

Debts. Credit cards, loans and other obligations are allocated between you.

The waiting period. No judgment of dissolution is final to end the marriage until six months have passed from the date the summons and petition were served or the date the respondent appeared in the case, whichever occurs first (Family Code section 2339); the court may extend that period for good cause. Your agreement can be signed before that date, but the marriage does not end before it.

Step 2: Exchange Financial Disclosures

This step is the one couples are most often surprised to learn is mandatory. Each spouse completes and serves a preliminary declaration of disclosure on the timeline already described under Family Code section 2104(f). Mediation does not remove or replace it.

The final declaration. Except by court order for good cause, each spouse serves a final declaration of disclosure and a current income and expense declaration, executed under penalty of perjury, before or at the time the spouses enter into an agreement resolving property or support issues other than temporary support, or, if the case goes to trial, no later than 45 days before the first assigned trial date (Family Code section 2105(a)).

Waiving the final declaration. The spouses may waive the final declaration of disclosure only mutually; one spouse cannot waive it alone. A mutual waiver must be executed under penalty of perjury in open court or by separate stipulation, and it must include the representations Family Code section 2105(d) lists.

Why accuracy matters. Disclosure is the foundation the agreement rests on. Under Family Code section 2105(a), perjury on the final declaration may be grounds for setting aside the judgment. Family Code section 2122 sets grounds and time limits for a motion to set aside a judgment, including actual fraud and perjury in the declarations of disclosure, the waiver of the final declaration or the income and expense statement (each generally within one year after discovery), and duress (within two years after entry of judgment); the section lists other grounds too.

Valuation date. Property is not automatically valued as of the date of separation. For dividing the community estate, the court values assets and liabilities as near as practicable to the time of trial; on 30 days' notice by the moving party to the other party, the court may for good cause use a date after separation and before trial (Family Code section 2552). In mediation, that rule is part of the background you and your spouse discuss when you talk about which values to use.

Step 3: Work Through Each Issue in Mediation Sessions

With the issues mapped and the financial picture on the table, the sessions are where the decisions take shape. The mediator's role, as described above under Evidence Code section 1115, is to help both of you communicate toward an agreement you both accept. Couples typically work through property, support and parenting across one or more sessions; the number and pace depend on the couple and the issues. A broader overview of divorce mediation in San Diego explains the session process in more detail.

Confidentiality. Under Evidence Code section 1119, except as the Evidence Code's mediation chapter otherwise provides, what is said and the writings prepared for, in the course of or under a mediation generally cannot be admitted as evidence or obtained in discovery in civil and other noncriminal proceedings. That protection is not absolute.

When a signed agreement can come in. Evidence Code section 1123 says a written settlement agreement prepared in or under a mediation and signed by the settling parties is not made inadmissible or protected from disclosure by the mediation chapter if any of these apply: the agreement says it is admissible or subject to disclosure; it says it is enforceable or binding; all parties expressly agree in writing, or orally as section 1118 allows, to its disclosure; or it is used to show fraud, duress or illegality relevant to a disputed issue.

If either spouse has an attorney. An attorney representing a spouse in mediation must, as soon as reasonably possible before the client agrees to participate, give the client a printed disclosure of the confidentiality restrictions and obtain a signed acknowledgment; an attorney retained later must do so as soon as reasonably possible after being retained (Evidence Code section 1129). How an attorney-mediator role differs from a spouse's own lawyer is explained separately.

Private mediation and court custody mediation are different things. When it appears on the face of a pleading that custody or visitation is contested, the court must set the contested issues for mediation (Family Code section 3170). In San Diego County, that is child custody recommending counseling with the court's Family Court Services. Under Family Code section 3183(a), except as provided in section 3188, that mediator may, consistent with local court rules, submit a recommendation to the court on custody or visitation if it is first provided in writing to the parties and their attorneys before the hearing; a mediator authorized this way is called a child custody recommending counselor, and Family Court Services calls this person the Family Court Counselor. Family Court Services states that if no agreement is reached, the counselor makes a recommendation and the court hearing proceeds. The judge decides. That court program is separate from private divorce mediation, and Simple Divorce Mediation is not connected to it.

Step 4: Draft the Marital Settlement Agreement

Once the decisions are made, they are put into writing. A marital settlement agreement (MSA) is the written contract that records every term you and your spouse agreed to. Once both spouses sign it and the court approves it, it becomes part of the judgment of dissolution.

What it covers. The MSA addresses every issue you resolved: property division, debt allocation, spousal support, custody and the parenting plan, and child support. Child support terms remain subject to court approval under the rules described in Step 1.

Consistency with disclosures. The terms of the MSA track the financial disclosures you each exchanged. An agreement that does not line up with what was disclosed invites questions later, and the set-aside rules in Step 2 explain why.

Confidentiality language. Because of Evidence Code section 1123, how the MSA describes itself matters. An agreement that states it is enforceable or binding is not shielded from admission or disclosure by the mediation chapter.

Review before signing. Either of you may have your own attorney review the draft before signing. Neither of you is required to.

A note on consultations. A mediation consultation is a communication between a person and a mediator for the purpose of initiating, considering or reconvening a mediation or retaining the mediator (Evidence Code section 1115(c)). Couples sometimes return to mediation when a drafting question surfaces an issue they had not fully settled.

After signing. The MSA is a written agreement both of you sign, and its terms are meant to be relied on. How a particular term could later be changed depends on the agreement's own language and on the kind of issue involved, which is one of the questions a spouse's own attorney can address.

Step 5: Submit the Agreement to the Court

Signing the MSA is a milestone, but it is not the end of the case. The signed agreement is submitted to the Superior Court of California in the county where the case is filed; for a case filed in San Diego County, that is the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego. Filing fees are set by statute.

Court review. The court reviews the agreement, including whether any child support amount below the guideline formula is supported by the section 4065(a) declarations described in Step 1. Until the court approves the agreement and enters judgment, it is not a court order.

Judgment. Once the court approves the MSA and enters judgment, its terms become part of a court order that binds both spouses. The marriage itself ends no sooner than the six-month period under Family Code section 2339 allows.

Summary dissolution. California also has summary dissolution, a separate and simpler procedure for couples who meet specific statutory conditions at the time the case begins (Family Code section 2400). Its asset and debt limits are set by statute and adjusted every odd-numbered year for inflation (section 2400(b)), so the current figures are published by the Judicial Council. Couples whose situation fits a simpler path may also find uncontested divorce mediation relevant.

After judgment. Some assets, such as retirement accounts, may require an additional order, such as a qualified domestic relations order, before they can be divided. An MSA typically states which spouse is responsible for preparing those orders.

Typical timeline

The statutory timeframes are the only fixed points: the preliminary disclosure within 60 days of filing the petition or response (or 30 days from the response in the publication-or-posting situation), unless extended; the final disclosure before or at the time of the agreement on property or support; and the six-month period under Family Code section 2339, which runs from service of the summons and petition or the respondent's appearance, whichever is first. Everything else, from the number of sessions to the time spent drafting and the court's review, varies with the couple, the issues and the court's workload. Mediation may take less time than litigation, depending on the couple and the issues, and a comparison of mediation versus litigation explains how the two paths differ.

When the Process Gets More Complicated

When an issue turns out to be harder than expected, it can feel as though the whole process has stalled. These are the circumstances that most often add complexity, and what each involves.

Complex property

Businesses, professional practices, stock options, deferred compensation and retirement accounts each call for careful valuation and disclosure, including the goodwill question noted in Step 1 for business interests.

Mixed separate and community funds

When separate and community money have been combined, tracing may be needed to show what remains separate property. As Step 1 explains, section 2640(b) reimbursement and Moore/Marsden apportionment each call for their own analysis.

Domestic violence, coercion or a protective order

The safety considerations described under "Before You Start" apply here, including the 911 note for anyone in immediate danger. Within the court's custody process, Family Court Services handles domestic violence cases under a separate written protocol approved by the Judicial Council (Family Code section 3170(b)).

Contested custody in court

When custody or visitation is contested in a court case, the court's mandatory custody mediation under Family Code section 3170 applies, as described in Step 3. In San Diego County, that is a Family Court Services program separate from private mediation.

Adding a lawyer partway through

Either spouse may retain an attorney at any stage, including after sessions have begun, to review the draft MSA or advise on a particular issue. Mediation may not be right for every couple, and whether to mediate is a decision you and your spouse make.

This guide does not cover how a specific asset should be valued or how courts often rule on particular contested issues; those questions turn on facts a general guide cannot see.

What to Bring to Your First Mediation Session: A Preparation Checklist

The documents below come straight out of the disclosure and agreement requirements described above. A longer divorce mediation checklist covers each session in more detail.

• Recent tax returns for both spouses
• Pay stubs, W-2s, or records of self-employment income
• Bank, investment and retirement account statements
• Mortgage statements and property tax records for any real property
• Titles or registration documents for vehicles
• A list of debts: credit cards, loans, lines of credit
• Records of separate-property contributions, such as gifts, inheritances or assets owned before marriage
• Any prenuptial or postnuptial agreement
• Information about any business interest either spouse holds
• A general sense of what matters most to each of you going in

This list supports the disclosure process. It does not replace the formal declarations of disclosure required by Family Code sections 2104 and 2105.

Talking Through Your Agreement With the Practice

A settlement agreement brings together disclosure deadlines, child support approval rules, property questions and the waiting period, and how those pieces fit depends on your family's circumstances and what you and your spouse have already agreed. A conversation with the practice can cover how mediation would approach the issues on your list, how the disclosure requirements generally apply, and how a mediated agreement moves toward the court, whether you are in San Diego County or elsewhere in California mediating online. If you and your spouse are still deciding whether mediation fits your situation at all, the guides linked above may be a useful place to begin.

When you are ready, you can call Simple Divorce Mediation at 858-330-1378 to arrange a joint mediation consultation.

About this article. Reviewed by Amy J. Lass, CA Bar No. 246779. Last updated 2026-10-04.