Shuttle Mediation for Divorce in California: How It Works, Step by Step

Shuttle mediation is a way to mediate a California divorce without sitting in the same room as your spouse. Each of you stays in a separate space, a separate room or video call, and a neutral mediator moves between you, carrying proposals and questions so you can reach an agreement you both accept.

You may be reading this because conversations with your spouse have become hard to get through, or because the thought of negotiating the house, the children's schedule or support face to face feels like too much right now. You may still want to settle things outside a courtroom and simply be unsure whether that is possible when talking directly is not working. You may want to know what shuttle mediation is, what it still requires and where it leads.

This guide walks through the process in five steps, from deciding whether the format fits to submitting a written agreement to the court. It covers the California rules that apply the same way in shuttle and joint sessions: the financial disclosure deadlines, confidentiality and its limits, and the six-month waiting period.

Before You Start: What Shuttle Mediation Is and What It Requires

Under Evidence Code section 1115, mediation is a process in which a neutral person helps the disputants communicate so they can reach a mutually acceptable agreement, and the mediator is that neutral person. The mediator does not represent either spouse, advocate for either spouse, act as either spouse's lawyer or decide anything for you. Shuttle mediation is one format for that process: instead of both spouses meeting in one room, the mediator moves between you in separate spaces.

Shuttle and joint-session mediation both fit the definition of mediation in Evidence Code section 1115, and the California rules below are written without regard to the physical arrangement. Both formats share three foundations:

• Confidentiality. Under Evidence Code section 1119, except as the Evidence Code's mediation chapter otherwise provides, no evidence of anything said or any admission made for the purpose of, in the course of, or pursuant to, a mediation or a mediation consultation is admissible or subject to discovery, and disclosure of it cannot be compelled, in any arbitration, administrative adjudication, civil action, or other noncriminal proceeding in which, pursuant to law, testimony can be compelled to be given. The same is true of a writing prepared for those purposes, and all communications, negotiations or settlement discussions between participants in the course of a mediation or mediation consultation remain confidential. That protection is not absolute. A written settlement agreement signed by the spouses can be admitted or disclosed in the situations Evidence Code section 1123 lists, including when the agreement says it is enforceable or binding.
• Financial disclosure. The declarations of disclosure under Family Code sections 2104 and 2105 apply in full, whatever the format.
• Court approval. A mediated agreement does not end a marriage by itself. The marriage ends through a judgment of dissolution that the court enters (Family Code section 2338(c)) and that becomes final under section 2339, and some terms are subject to the court's approval, such as child support under Family Code section 4065(a), described in Step 5.

Shuttle mediation can happen with spouses in separate rooms or on separate video calls. Online mediation lets couples anywhere in California take part; online divorce mediation has its own page. Simple Divorce Mediation mediates California divorces for couples in San Diego County and, online, for couples anywhere in the state.

Private mediation with the practice is not connected to the court, the court's Family Court Services or any government program. For a broader look at the stages, see the overview of how divorce mediation works.

Step 1: Decide Whether Shuttle Format Fits Your Situation

Couples commonly consider shuttle format for a few reasons: tension or conflict that makes joint sessions unproductive, difficulty communicating directly, or one or both spouses feeling more comfortable speaking privately with the mediator. The format gives each person room to think, react and respond without the other spouse watching.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Where there has been domestic violence, coercion or a protective order, safety comes first. Separate rooms or separate screens do not automatically make mediation safe or appropriate, and mediation with the other spouse may not be right at all in that situation.

Mediation may not be right for every couple.

Either spouse may have a lawyer of their own throughout the process. Neither of you is required to have one, and neither of you is barred from having one. Except in the case of a class or representative action, Evidence Code section 1129 requires an attorney representing a client participating in a mediation or a mediation consultation to provide the client, as soon as reasonably possible before the client agrees to participate, with a printed disclosure containing the confidentiality restrictions described in section 1119, and to obtain a printed acknowledgment signed by the client stating that the client has read and understands them. An attorney retained after an individual agrees to participate must comply as soon as reasonably possible after being retained, and the disclosure must be printed in the client's preferred language in at least 12-point font.

Step 2: Understand California's Financial Disclosure Requirements

Mediation does not remove the duty of financial disclosure. Using a mediator does not let you and your spouse skip, shorten or informally replace the declarations of disclosure, which are executed under penalty of perjury on a form prescribed by the Judicial Council and identify each spouse's assets and liabilities, with a completed income and expense declaration provided along with them.

Preliminary declaration of disclosure. Under Family Code section 2104(f), each spouse serves it either with the petition or response, or within 60 days of filing it. The parties can extend that time by written agreement, or the court can extend it by order. When the petitioner served the summons and petition by publication or posting under a court order and the respondent files a response before a default judgment is entered, the petitioner has 30 days from that response.

Final declaration of disclosure. Under Family Code section 2105(a), except by court order for good cause, each spouse serves a final declaration of disclosure and a current income and expense declaration before or at the time the parties enter into an agreement resolving property or support issues other than temporary support. If the case goes to trial, they are due no later than 45 days before the first assigned trial date. Perjury on the final declaration may be grounds for setting aside all or part of the judgment.

Waiver. The spouses can mutually waive the final declaration. A waiver is mutual, never by one spouse alone, and it must be executed under penalty of perjury in open court or by separate stipulation and include the representations Family Code section 2105(d) lists.

Gathering records before sessions begin can help the process move more smoothly: bank statements, tax returns, retirement account statements, mortgage statements, loan and credit records, and similar documents. Disclosure can feel intrusive when trust is already thin.

Step 3: Identify the Issues You and Your Spouse Need to Resolve

A California divorce generally requires decisions about property, support and, where there are children, custody and visitation. Knowing the categories ahead of time lets both of you arrive knowing what the sessions will cover.

Community property. Under Family Code section 2550, the court divides the community estate, which includes both community property and quasi-community property (Family Code section 63), equally, except upon the written agreement of the parties, on oral stipulation of the parties in open court, or as otherwise provided in that division of the Family Code. Under Family Code section 2552, the court values the assets and liabilities as near as practicable to the time of trial, and, upon 30 days' notice by the moving party to the other party, may for good cause shown use a date after separation and before trial.

Separate-property reimbursement. Under Family Code section 2640(b), in the division of the community estate a spouse is reimbursed for contributions to the acquisition of property of the community property estate to the extent the spouse traces them to a separate-property source, unless that spouse has made a written waiver or signed a writing that has the effect of a waiver. Contributions include downpayments, payments for improvements and payments that reduce the principal of a loan used to buy or improve the property; they do not include interest, maintenance, insurance or taxes. Reimbursement is paid without interest or adjustment for change in monetary values and may not exceed the net value of the property at the time of division. More detail appears in the guide to property division mediation.

Retirement plans. Family Code section 2610 directs the court to make orders ensuring each spouse receives a full community share of any retirement plan, except as its subdivision (b) provides.

Business interests. A business's value can include goodwill, and its value is decided on the evidence, often with experts.

Spousal support. Under Family Code section 4320, the court considers listed circumstances, including the extent to which each spouse's earning capacity can maintain the standard of living established during the marriage and the extent to which the supported spouse contributed to the other spouse's education, training, career or license.

Child support. Parents may agree on child support, but the agreement is subject to the court's approval, as explained in Step 5.

Custody and visitation. Parents can work out a parenting plan in private mediation. When custody or visitation is contested in a court filing, Family Code section 3170 requires the court to set the contested issues for mediation. In San Diego County, that is child custody recommending counseling with the court's Family Court Services, which is separate from and not connected to private mediation.

Step 4: How Shuttle Sessions Work

Each spouse stays in a separate space, a separate room or a separate video call, for the session. The mediator moves between the two spaces, carrying proposals, questions and information.

The mediator's role stays the one Evidence Code section 1115 describes: helping both of you communicate so you can reach an agreement you both accept. The mediator carries messages and helps clarify options; the mediator does not take a side or make the decision.

Communications in the course of a mediation are confidential under Evidence Code section 1119, except as the Evidence Code's mediation chapter otherwise provides. Confidentiality is not absolute. A written settlement agreement signed by both spouses can be admitted or disclosed in the situations Evidence Code section 1123 lists: when it says it is admissible or subject to disclosure; when it says it is enforceable or binding; when all parties to the agreement expressly agree in writing, or orally in accordance with section 1118, to its disclosure; or when it is used to show fraud, duress or illegality relevant to an issue in dispute.

These rules do not apply to the court's child custody mediation. Evidence Code section 1117(b) excludes those proceedings from the mediation confidentiality chapter. Instead, Family Code section 3177 says they are held in private and are confidential.

Step 5: Reaching a Written Agreement and Submitting It to the Court

When both spouses agree on all issues, the mediator helps them put the agreement in writing as a marital settlement agreement, a written contract setting out the terms both spouses have accepted. The guide to the divorce mediation agreement covers what goes into one.

The agreement is then submitted to the court where the case is filed. For a case filed in San Diego County, that is the Superior Court of California, County of San Diego. Where a case is filed depends on the spouses' circumstances, such as where they live. The court is not a party to private mediation and does not take part in its sessions; if the spouses reach agreement, the court enters the judgment (Family Code section 2338(c)).

Child support terms are subject to the court's approval. Under Family Code section 4065(a), unless federal law prohibits it, the court does not approve a stipulated amount below the guideline formula unless the parents declare all of the following: they are fully informed of their rights concerning child support; the order is agreed to without coercion or duress; the agreement is in the best interests of the children; the children's needs will be adequately met by the stipulated amount; and the right to support has not been assigned to the county and no public assistance application is pending.

Under Family Code section 2339, subject to subdivision (b) and to sections 2340 to 2344, no judgment of dissolution is final for the purpose of terminating the marriage relationship until six months have expired from the date of service of a copy of summons and petition or the date of appearance of the respondent, whichever occurs first. The period does not run from the filing date, and the court may extend it for good cause shown. Subject to those provisions, the marriage ends only when the court enters a judgment (section 2338(c)) and that period has expired. Mediation may be faster or less expensive than litigation, depending on the couple and the issues. The steps that follow are described in what happens after mediation.

When the Process Gets More Complicated

Contested custody

When custody or visitation is contested in a court filing, Family Code section 3170 requires the court to set those issues for mediation. In San Diego County, that is child custody recommending counseling with Family Court Services. Under Family Code section 3183(a), except as section 3188 provides, that counselor may, consistent with local court rules, submit a recommendation to the court if it is first provided in writing to the parties and their attorneys before the hearing. Family Court Services says that if no agreement is reached, the counselor makes a recommendation and the court hearing proceeds. The judge decides. The San Diego mediation process guide explains how private and court mediation differ.

Domestic violence, coercion or a protective order

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Safety comes first, and mediation with the other spouse may not be appropriate. Shuttle format does not automatically resolve safety concerns. Under Family Code section 3170(b), domestic violence cases in the court's process are handled by Family Court Services under a separate written protocol approved by the Judicial Council.

Complex assets

Retirement plans, business interests, real estate with separate-property contributions or stock options may call for expert valuation. This guide does not cover valuation methods.

Summary dissolution

Some couples may qualify for summary dissolution, a simplified procedure. Its dollar limits are set by statute and adjusted periodically under Family Code section 2400(b).

A spouse who is not participating in good faith

If one spouse withholds financial information or does not engage in good faith, mediation may produce only a partial agreement or none. The court process remains available for issues that are not resolved.

Typical Timeline for a California Divorce Through Mediation

Under Family Code section 2339, subject to subdivision (b) and to sections 2340 to 2344, no judgment of dissolution is final for the purpose of terminating the marriage relationship until six months have expired, counted from service of the summons and petition or the respondent's appearance, whichever comes first.

Two disclosure deadlines also shape the timeline. The preliminary declaration is due with the petition or response or within 60 days of filing it, under Family Code section 2104(f), unless extended by written agreement or court order. The final declaration and a current income and expense declaration are due before or at the time a property or support agreement is made, under Family Code section 2105(a), unless a mutual waiver is executed or the court orders otherwise for good cause.

Beyond those points, total duration depends on the couple, the issues, and how promptly both spouses complete disclosures and reach agreement.

Schedule a Joint Mediation Consultation

Whether separate-room mediation is workable depends on how communication between you goes, which issues are open and whether any safety concern makes mediation the wrong setting altogether. A consultation is a place to raise those questions.

To talk with Simple Divorce Mediation about divorce mediation, you and your spouse can call 858-330-1378 to schedule a joint mediation consultation.

About this article. Reviewed by Amy J. Lass, CA Bar No. 246779. Last updated 2026-10-08.